Play Sqoon Online

Okay, so picture this: Neptune's rulers are running out of their favorite snack—man-ham (yes, really)—so they flood Earth to turn us all into underwater deli meat. Just when it seems hopeless, the world's last hope turns out to be Narikeen, a pink submarine-piloting pirate who used to be public enemy #1. The irony's delicious.

You take control of his sub, Sqoon, armed with forward-firing missiles for blasting aliens and downward ice-bombs to crack open underwater factories. Freeing trapped humans is key—they float up like sad little balloons, and once you've got nine, a tiny island pops up so you can drop them off (and grab more fuel, because Sqoon guzzles gas like a '80s muscle car).

The levels are wild—sunken versions of real countries, swarming with bizarre sea creatures and factories. It's janky in that classic NES way, but there's something weirdly charming about the whole setup. Also, the music? Unhinged. In a good way.