Play EarthBound Battler Online

EarthBound Battler is one of those games that makes you go, "Wait, what?" in the best way possible. You start off as a kid with psychic powers, beating up crows and stray dogs with a baseball bat—then suddenly you're fighting sentient taxis and cult leaders in neon robes. The whole thing feels like someone took a normal RPG, fed it a bunch of 90s pop culture, and cranked the weirdness dial to 11.

Combat’s got this neat twist where your HP rolls down like a slot machine when you take damage, so you can still act before it hits zero if you’re fast. I lost count of how many times I barely scraped by because I frantically healed while watching my health tick away. And the items? Forget potions—you’re chugging cans of soda and scarfing down pizza mid-battle.

The writing’s the real star, though. One minute you’re laughing at a joke about a guy who’s way too into his pet rock, the next you’re weirdly invested in saving a town from literal nightmares. It’s chaotic, heartfelt, and unlike anything else on the SNES. If you’ve ever wanted to fight a pile of sentient barf to a funky bassline, this is your game.