Play Baldies Online – MS-DOS Game

Game Overview

Baldies (1995) is a unique real-time strategy game with a god-game twist, blending elements of titles like Command & Conquer and Dungeon Keeper. Instead of direct unit control, players act as a "hand-god," guiding their tribe of Baldies by physically picking them up and assigning roles via colored rooms in their shacks. Workers (red) generate energy, builders (blue) expand structures, soldiers (grey) defend, and scientists (white) invent absurd yet effective weapons—like exploding cows and helicopters—to combat the rival Hairies. The game’s charm lies in its chaotic micromanagement: balancing reproduction, technology, and warfare while wielding divine powers like Flamehead attacks or an all-or-nothing Armageddon mode.

Set in an isometric world without fog-of-war, Baldies stands out for its quirky humor and indirect control mechanics, offering a fresh take on the RTS genre. Its focus on role-swapping and unpredictable inventions creates a lively, if unconventional, strategy experience. Though less polished than its peers, the game’s creativity and irreverent tone have earned it a cult following among retro gaming enthusiasts.
Each game uses different controls, most DOS games use the keyboard arrows. Some will use the mouse , "Alt" ,"Enter" and "Space bar".