Play Goemon's Great Adventure Online

Goemon’s Great Adventure is that weird, wonderful sequel to Mystical Ninja where everything gets even weirder. Some nun-looking guy named Bismaru steals a ghost-summoning machine (because of course he does), and now Goemon and the gang have to chase him across Japan before he takes over the world. Meanwhile, Ebisumaru just wanted to meet his ancestor, James Dean—which tells you everything about the tone here.

It’s a side-scroller like the old SNES games, but with chunky N64 3D bosses and levels that feel way bigger than they should. You’ve got your choice of characters—Goemon smacks things with his pipe, Ebisumaru throws… whatever he throws—and you can even team up with a friend in co-op, hopping on each other’s backs like a ninja piggyback ride. The towns are full of chatty NPCs and shops where you’ll waste too much time just poking around.

And yes, the giant singing robot Goemon Impact is back. You climb into its cockpit for first-person mech battles against enemy robots, which is as ridiculous and amazing as it sounds. The whole thing feels like a Saturday morning cartoon that got way too ambitious.