Play Scarlet Devil Mario Online

Scarlet Devil Mario is one of those weird, wonderful ROM hacks that makes you go, "Wait, how is this even a Mario game?" It starts normal enough—jumping on goombas, grabbing coins—but then suddenly you're weaving through glowing bullet patterns straight out of a Touhou game, with this eerie gothic soundtrack humming in the background. The first time a giant rose petal attack filled the screen, I just stared at my controller like, "Mario was NOT built for this."

Somehow, though, it works. The controls stay tight like a proper SNES platformer, but now you're ducking and weaving through these elaborate enemy patterns in castles that look like Dracula decorated them. It's janky in the best way—like someone mashed up Super Mario World with a shoot-'em-up and didn't tell Nintendo. And yeah, good luck finding a single familiar power-up. Fire flowers? Nah, try dodging neon kunai while a vampire version of Peach watches from a stained-glass window.

Definitely not for purists, but if you've ever wanted to see Mario suffer beautifully in a bullet hell, this is your cursed gift.