Play Dungeons, Amethysts, Alchemists 'n' Everythin' Online

Game Overview

Dungeons, Amethysts, Alchemists 'n' Everythin' is one of those weird, janky Amiga text adventures that somehow sticks with you. You play as a warrior trying to overthrow TITE-ARZ, a dark lord whose evil reign somehow includes economic policy—like, yeah, he’s raising inflation to 59% while you’re out here fighting goblins. The whole thing’s a parody, packed with groan-worthy puns and fantasy tropes turned upside down.

It’s built on Graphic Adventure Creator, which the game openly mocks, and honestly? The parser shows its limits. You can’t chain commands, half the words you try won’t work, and sometimes you’ll just stare at the screen wondering why "hit orc with chair" isn’t an option. But that’s part of the charm—it’s like playing a game that’s laughing at itself while you fumble through it. Just don’t expect Infocom-level polish.

If you’re into retro adventures with a sense of humor (and patience for clunky mechanics), this one’s a weird little time capsule. The amethyst won’t find itself.