Play Army Men - Soldiers of Misfortune (EU)(M5)(XenoPhobia) Online

Game Overview

Army Men: Soldiers of Misfortune is one of those weird little DS games that somehow makes plastic toy soldiers feel like an actual warzone. You’re dropped into tiny battlefields—backyards, tabletops, that kind of thing—with squads of green and tan army men, and it’s way more tactical than you’d expect. At first, I just charged in guns blazing, but that got my guys melted real fast. Turns out, flanking and using cover actually matters here.

The controls take a second to get used to (it’s the DS, so expect some stylus tapping), but once it clicks, you start pulling off dumb little ambushes like hiding your bazooka guy behind a soda can. The missions get surprisingly tough later on, especially when the enemy starts throwing tanks at you. Not gonna lie, the graphics are rough by today’s standards, but there’s something charming about watching your plastic squad waddle into battle.

If you ever played with army men as a kid, this one’s a weirdly nostalgic trip—just don’t expect a AAA war sim.